


Something Wholesome

by portraitnoah



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, I don't even think it qualifies to be called angst it's there for like one second, I think there's romance idk, Luna being her wonderful self, Mental Illness, Romance, also lmao I half assed that title in case you didn't notice, anyways this is as messy as the author, because anyone who thinks harry came out of that war unscathed is on something else, enjoy... I guess, honestly.....im too lazy to proofread, how do you even tag this, if you blink you'll miss it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 12:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12607096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/portraitnoah/pseuds/portraitnoah
Summary: Eight times Harry realises he loves Luna and the one time he says it





	Something Wholesome

1.  
Luna is bonkers and Harry's bloody in love with her. The thought feels like cold water doused over his overheated body. He drops his pen with a startled movement causing Ron to peer at him with worry in his eyes. In that moment Harry feels bad because anything could be running through Ron's mind.

“I'm fine.” He manages to say, forcing a tight smile to manifest on his lips. He realises how stupid he's been about a second too late. Ron abandons his Charms homework, parchment covered in chaotic writing, the sentences barely sentences. Ron is by his side in five seconds flat, one hand on his shoulder and the other clenched by his side.

“Is it you-know-who?”

“I swear I'm fine.” Harry seems to be making bad decision after bad decision today. He forces himself to look at Ron in the eye.

“Ron, it's nothing. I just remembered something. I'm fine.”

“Okay, I'm here for you.” Ron reminds him before returning to his parchment. Harry wishes that this hazy period between them where Ron feels bad for leaving them during their hunt for the horcruxes would disappear but he also knows it'll take time. Ron needs time to understand that what he did was human and that no matter what his friends will always love him.

“I know.” Harry smiles before picking up his quill again to stare at the half-full page. He only has about a hundred words to go before he calls it a night. He's fifty words in before he remembers what he told Ron. I just remembered something.

He searches his memories trying to remember when he actually fell in love with Luna. He can't pinpoint one, it's a plethora of moments.

 

2.

Voldemort is dead, Voldemort is dead. He's dead, He's actually dead and Harry can't believe it. It feels like a dream. It's too good to be true and Harry can't help the tears that slide down his face. The cloud over his head is gone and he's not going to die. He's alive.

“Harry!” Hermione yells before crashing into him. He feels her tears before he hears the sobs and gasps vibrating through her body. He sees Ron not too far behind and beckons him over. They are alive and that is all that matters.

“How's everyone?” Harry asks not wanting to ask the inevitable. Who died?

“People are getting looked at in the Great Hall. It’s a hospital of some sorts now.” Ron informs him, face grim and Harry realises that someone died. Someone precious to Ron.

He clears his throat and asks about the people in their year. Hermione rolls her eyes and tells him Luna is fine. He doesn't realise the moment where a sigh of relief escapes from his chest, like a bird set free.

 

3.

“So,” Harry says fiddling with his wand. He's the boy who lived for Merlin's sake. He's going to ask Luna if she'd like to go to Hogsmeade with him after the remaining Death Eaters are found and she’ll say yes and they'll have fun. He clears his throat before heading to the edge of the astronomy tower where Luna stands staring at the stars. 

“Hi.” Harry grins summoning every single ounce of confidence he has.

“Harry,” Luna gestures him over. “What a beautiful night it is.”

Harry looks at the sky, the handful of twinkling stars and he doesn't really understand then he looks at Luna the way he can see the reflection of the sky in her eyes. 

“Yeah, beautiful.” He concedes as they collapse into a comfortable silence. He doesn't know how much time has passed - he doesn't want to know. He hasn't felt this sort of peace in a long time. It's a type of calm that only comes with Luna.

“What are you doing up here?” Luna glances at him before returning her attention to the sky. At that moment Harry wishes he could be the stars, anything - he'd give anything to have Luna look at him the way she looks at the stars.

“I-” He finds himself saying. “ I wanted to ask if you'd like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend.” He doesn't care about the Death Eaters, he deserves to have fun, evil be damned.

Luna smiles softly, hair whipping around in the wind. He almost reaches out to touch it or to just place his hand in the direction of the wind so he can feel her hair on this fingers.

“Of course.” She grins before tearing her attention away from the sky and finally looking at him. Harry feels ten times more self conscious than usual before Luna isn't looking at him, she's looking through him and feels like he's floating down a river she's controlling. 

An hour later Harry is still standing in that spot, even after Luna has left and he can't help but wonder if the stars think Luna is beautiful too.

 

4.

He realises with a start that tonight is their third date after Ron throws him a rather crude smile.

“What?” Harry asks restraining himself from rolling his eyes.

“Third date tonight.” Ron grins, cheeks matching his hair and all Harry can do is raise one eyebrow.

“Mate, aren't you and Luna going to?” Ron blushes. “You know?”

“Ronald Weasley!” Hermione shrieks from her corner of the table. They're in the library studying - well Hermione is, Harry is dreaming of his date with Luna and Ron is watching Hermione study, his eyes following her every movement. A month ago Harry would've laughed at them but he knows what it's like to be so invested in someone they begin to feel like an extension of yourself.

“Harry don't listen to him. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Or anything Luna isn't comfortable with.” Hermione completes a glare she seems to only use with Ron. Harry nods his head and slips out of his seat.

“Well, wish me luck.” He grins before sprinting out of the library.

Luna is sitting on one of the window ledges, hair cascading behind her. He sees some strands moving gently with the wind and he wants to remember this moment forever, keep it in his heart like something precious. He opens his mouth to call out to her but nothing comes out so he settles for moving closer to her.

“You ready?” He asks softly not wanting to startle her. She doesn't reply for a few seconds then she turns and graces him with the most beautiful smile he's ever seen. Harry can barely remember his own name.

“Let's go.” She nods before hopping from the window and landing beside him. She slips her hand into his and in that moment Harry feels truly alive and in tune with the universe.

 

5.

It's been weeks since he last had a nightmare. He doesn't know how to handle them anymore. He sees Voldemort cackling, eyes brimming with mirth. He sees Voldemort raise his wand to cast a Crucio on someone, he doesn't recognize the person but he hears someone scream his name. One minute he's running to save Luna and the next the Crucio is coming out of his wand, the hand attached to the wand is his and the dry laughter is undeniably his. He screams himself back into consciousness.

“Harry!” A voice calls, he feels someone shaking his shoulders. He doesn't remember where he is.

“Harry!” He tries to follow the voice, a moth chasing the light and after what feels like eternity he opens his eyes to see blond hair, blue eyes and the smell of home. 

 

6.

“What's wrong?” Luna asks quietly not wanting to upset Harry any further.

“Nothing. Leave me alone.” Harry grumbles before stuffing a piece of pumpkin pie into his mouth.

“You'll feel better if you talk about it.” Luna presses gently and Harry snaps. He's tired of being treated like some sort of fragile china plate.

“I said I'm fine.” He replies slamming his hands on the table. The occupants of the Great Hall all turn to look at him. He hears their murmurs and pitying glances. The feel of crackling magic increases in the air and Luna places a hand on Harry's shoulder.

“I said leave me alone.” He screams. “Go play with your nargles or something.”

Luna's eyes go misty for a second and Harry prepares himself for a lashing that never comes. Luna stands up quietly and walks out of the Great Hall as though nothing had changed but Harry knows better. He doesn't hear Hermione's berating over the sound of his breaking heart.

 

7.

The nights that follow are the worst, he dreams of being defeated by Voldemort, he dreams of becoming Voldemort and in each of those dreams he sees blue eyes and snatches of hair so blond it's almost silver but he never sees Luna.

“Harry.” Hermione looks at Harry with an exasperated look adorning her features. 

“She's been calling your name for the past five minutes.” Ron clarifies.

“Have you spoken to Luna?” Hermione asks looking him dead in the eye. He can't lie his way out of this one. He isn't sure he wants to.

“I haven't.” Harry responds truthfully.

“Well she's right there.” Hermione says pointing to the lake. Harry nods and pretends he didn't already know she was there.

“Okay.” Harry nods.

“Go talk to her.” Hermione presses. “Now.”

“What am I going to tell her?”

“An apology then the truth.”

Harry's legs carry him over to Luna easily, he wants to be with her but he doesn't know how. He stands beside her quietly for a few minutes before letting himself look at her. He stares at her for a while, drinking in her presence like a man dying of thirst.

“Luna.” He starts before stopping. He doesn't know what to say besides those three words but he knows they're not enough.

“This thing is bigger than me.” Harry finally blurts out before looking away.

“A lot of things are bigger than us Harry, the key is not to let it overcome us.”

“This thing, Luna, it's eating me alive.”

“I know.” Luna whispers before intertwining their fingers.

“I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Luna. I'm so sorry.”

“I know.”

 

8.

He gets his prescription after his third meeting with the muggle therapist. As far as the therapist is concerned Harry is a soldier suffering from the trauma of war. It is the truth but it also isn't. Luna sits in the reception waiting for him, her bright outfit standing out against the dull white walls.

“Let's go.” Harry says helping her up. He knows she can stand up herself, he just likes to touch her to remind himself that she's really here and not just a figment of his imagination. 

“Nice weather today” Luna comments as they walk down to the train station that'll lead them to Diagon Alley. The weather had been damp and humid all week and today was not an exception.

“That's open to discussion.” Harry smiles before stepping aside to avoid a puddle which leads to him moving closer to Luna. He really doesn't mind.

“I meant you, you're sunny today.” 

“Well,” Harry pauses before deciding to go all in. “It's a beautiful day and I've got the woman I love right beside me.”

Luna laughs, a full and wholesome thing.

“Do you think we could feed some ducks before heading back?” Luna asks after a moment.

“I don't know.” Harry frowns softly. Maybe he came on too strongly. Maybe he shouldn't have said it.

“Let's buy some bread and feed them.” Luna pleads. “Oh and Harry.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhh thank u for reading this, feel free to leave any constructive criticism (please be nice im very soft hearted) and I love this pairing but the amounts of fics it has is abysmal, im here to contribute.


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